The bible teaches us, that the soul and spirit lives on.  My mother and father gently reinforced this belief throughout my life, probably unknowingly. If you believe in everlasting life, then you understand this important life lesson.

             Unknowingly, the message of this life lesson became apparent to me in 2010. One of the most memorable life lessons graced me during a spur of the moment conversation between my father and me. It was a period when his sharp memory declined.  I stayed with him over night and in the morning instead of turning on the TV I used Susie’s laptop computer introducing him to a computer telling him that we could go anywhere in the world by looking through the screen in front of us. I booted up the computer and he watched my hands, sitting silently beside me at the kitchen table, softly drumming his fingers as he always did. I don’t think he ever noticed this amazing habit he possessed. I remember sometimes I could see the melody was fast or slow, other times he drummed softly or more firmly with his fingertips. I never asked what the tune was, and I never figured out if it was the same tune he rehearsed over and over. I never asked why he did that. 

At that moment I prodded him to tell me about being a boy and how he picked up playing a snare drum that he had in some pictures I ‘ve seen in the past and recalled Pattie telling me there really was a drum in the house when she was younger.

Imagine, this was the guy who often said “ knock it off you girls” when we talked too loud in the car or played music on the record player in 60’s and 70’s while growing up on Lewis Circle, Meadow Street, and 206 Andrew Avenue.   Patti and Susie, do you remember when we were in the old station wagon on long vacation trips in the summer Sandi usually struck up a song or jig, got giggly, and Mom would even look like a conductor in the front seat with a long pretzel in her hand smiling and humming too?  At some point Dad would say, OK, that’s enough, cut it out. J Sandie would get us giggling again and let’s not mention the station wagon pulling over on some New England highway when he came around to the back of the car and opened the trunk, you can guess what happened next with 4 school-aged daughters!

Zoom forward in time to that moment at the table, Dad couldn’t remember much about any drum, I think it was a snare drum, and I told him that he said once to me that he always wished he could have been a drummer in a polka band.

I asked him if he still wanted to be a drummer in a polka band smiling and he said, no I would rather play a trumpet in a band. So I Googled trumpet and we found lots of types of trumpets and pictures describing each- and I enlarged them and asked him to read about the captions underneath, and even found a YOU TUBE video about how trumpets are made—his eyes lit up just watching it, and his fingers were tapping again.

When we were done looking at the computer screen views he said; “ thank you.”

I downloaded” Deborah’s Theme” from Once upon a time in America. Chris Botti was playing this particular trumpet version.

My father instantly straightened his position in the chair and appeared to listen intently to the melody.

Reflecting on this one memory of my wonderful father, I realized this powerful trumpet moved him, and me. In retrospect, the trumpet instrument-- reminds me of my father because he was quietly powerful if such a feeling exists. He was a kind, gentle, generous, husband, grandfather, great grandfather and veteran, brother, brother in law, uncle, friend, and neighbor.   

I love you Dad, and I miss you, Mom & Sandi

Love, Lori

    xxoo